to everything there is a season

Hi friends,

I had an enlightening conversation today with a friend who is currently juggling work, school, motherhood and several big life decisions. This talk by Elder Faust came up in our conversation. You are already great women in my eyes, but seeing as some of you also juggle children, careers, etc., I thought I'd share this link in hopes it might bring you good cheer!

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=3e23ef960417b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

"...you cannot do everything well at the same time. You cannot be a 100 percent wife, a 100 percent mother, a 100 percent church worker, a 100 percent career person, and a 100 percent public-service person at the same time. How can all of these roles be coordinated? Says Sarah Davidson: “The only answer I come up with is that you can have it sequentially. At one stage you may emphasize career, and at another marriage and nurturing young children, and at any point you will be aware of what is missing. If you are lucky, you will be able to fit everything in. Doing things sequentially—filling roles one at a time at different times—is not always possible, as we know, but it gives a woman the opportunity to do each thing well in its time and to fill a variety of roles in her life. The Book of Ecclesiastes says: “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”

Kat

How Does Birth Control Affect Our Relationship with our Bodies and our Family Values?

Bonjour from Lindsay Hickok

A week or so ago, my sister, Courtney, invited me to join this blog - and oh! the joy! the enlightenment that has been found herein! :)

I haven't had time to read all the previous posts, but I assure you I will. I perused and I have to admit - I'm thoroughly excited. (and trying not to be thoroughly intimidated by you amazing, mighty, thoughtful women)

That being said, here is my introduction:
I am a woman, wife and mother of 2. I graduated from BYU with a degree in Nursing, though it was far from my passion. I was exceptionally interested in anthropology, psychology and biochemistry - but for a host of reasons I chose nursing. I worked in labor and delivery for five months but quit when I became pregnant with my daughter.
Being a mother is a humongous part of who I am, as is my being LDS. I served a mission in the Nevada Las Vegas West Mission, and I wish I could give the gospel the undivided attention I gave it for that year and a half.

Like I said, I love this blog already. I have a keen interest in the female human experience, so the topics you have covered thus far have been fun to explore!
I am excited to get to know everyone better - and to contribute meaningfully.

Exercise Charity and Nurture Those in Need

The third objective of the Relief Society is to "exercise charity and nurture those in need."

Firstly, I have to tell you about synchronicity. My life has been positively full of it lately. It began a couple weeks ago when I had some interesting and lovely connections with a longtime but far-away friend. I mentioned it to some people and was led to reading Consider the Butterfly by Carol Lynn Pearson. I have been noticing these meaningful coincidences all over the place, and now here I have another. Often I think synchronicity is God's way of speaking to us, and those meaningful coincidences can give us a boost-- they are the tender mercies (to use a cliched term) God grants us. And this is where the Relief Society objectives come in. My Relief Society lesson on Sunday was on Elder Holland's talk "The Ministry of Angels" from General Conference, and there was much discussion about how we, as sisters, can act as angels on errand from God to help others. I have been thinking so much about our lesson and how I need to be more in tune with God to be that messenger of charity and love. And, now, I finally get around to writing this post and I see that the next objective is to "exercise charity and nurture those in need." Synchronicity in deed!

The well-known scripture in Matthew tells us what will save us in the end: charity. "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these . . . ye have done it unto me." The ultimate judgment comes down to how we have treated one another, how we have cared for one another. As sisters in Relief Society, we have the responsibility to care for one another as women. I think I have mentioned visiting teaching in my other posts, but it is the easiest place to start. Looking around the room at church can be particularly daunting to know where to start with nurturing those in need, but in our visiting teaching assignments, we have (usually) two women we can start with. Whether or not a woman's needs are visible or dramatic, every woman needs to be nurtured. Every woman can benefit from another friend, from another caring person.

Charity can be a very vague term. "The pure love of Christ" is a wonderful defining term, but it doesn't do much for practical application. Whenever I think of serving those around me and being truly charitable, all I can think to do for people is to bake them something. This is a start. But I'm well aware it's nowhere near enough. I think this is where being truly in tune with God comes into play. Also, we need to be willing to completely throw our inhibitions out the window. When we see an opportunity to reach out to someone, it is so easy to reason our way out of it, but we must get in the habit of acting quickly when it comes to service. (99 times out of 100 I give in to my inhibitions instead of acting charitably. I must remedy this!)

Ultimately what I want to stress in this post is the importance of this objective. One line in Elder Holland's talk is "God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face." I truly think it is our responsibility to be God's emissaries, to be charitable and to nurture our fellow sisters so that they feel God's love through us. (Go read Elder Holland's talk again. Seriously.)

But the question I have for you is how to apply this practically. What do you think are the most important ways to show charity? How have others been meaningfully charitable to you? In what other ways is "exercising charity and nurturing those in need" important? Please tell me all your other thoughts about exercising charity and nurturing those in need.

More Introductions

Hello my friends, we have several lovely women who have just joined our blog:

Gwen Allen, Heather Aagard, Laura Judd, Lisa Anderson, Missy Riley and Rebecca Lippincott.

I'm so pleased you've joined!

Although I know how wonderful you are, why don't you each post an introduction so all the other women can also revel in your fabulousity. Welcome!

Emphasize Divine Worth

The second official objective of the Relief Society is to "emphasize the divine worth of each sister." The first thing that comes to mind is visiting teaching. While I may not be the model of a perfect visiting teacher, I think it is a divinely-inspired program. It makes the statement that every woman is worth visiting. Every woman is worth being looked after. Every woman is worth the time, the effort, the thought. I have had both fabulous and awful visiting teaching experiences. I have been both fabulous and awful as a visiting teacher. But when it functions properly, visiting teaching helps emphasize the divine worth of each sister. (Are we not all motivated to do our visiting teaching this month?)
For some reason, emphasizing the divine worth of each sister is necessary in that an often correct stereotype of women is to feel decidedly un-divine. But I do think the Relief Society is trying to combat this. I recall a few Women's Conferences ago the talks focusing on our divine worth (does anyone have a link to any specific talks? I can't seem to find one). And I also feel the Young Women's program did a great job at preparing me for womanhood (and Relief Society) by drilling my divine worth -- among other values -- into my head.
How do you think Relief Society performs at emphasizing the divine worth of each sister? In what ways could the Relief Society, as an organization, do better? In what ways could you do better at helping your fellow sisters appreciated and realize their divine worth?

I have a penchant for transparent blouses...

...which is strange because after living in Jerusalem last year, your friend who has been known by a sobriquet synonymous with "nude" came to better understand principles of modesty that had previously eluded her (I told my mother I wanted to wear hijab - I like this and this). I have been fascinated by how my perception of modesty has changed (and will still be changing, cf. post title).

My flat in the Old City of Jerusalem was situated next to a neighborhood where many religious Jewish families lived, so I was often walking around women who exemplified a type of modesty that led me to view the BYU dress code as a standard for modesty as one par with the level at which movie ratings offer a standard of appropriate content. Part of my revelation about modesty was understanding how clothing is only one expression of modesty. I have often operated under the mistaken impression that if certain body parts are covered, then I'm being modest. I have failed to realize, however, that if the covering is primarily over-stretched lycra, I haven't actually concealed anything but my natural coloring, right? So for these women, modesty wasn't faux modesty (my xs Shade shirts are sighing in the closet), but by covering their feet to their wrists to their collarbones, these women presented their bodies as something private, something holy. And they were so beautiful! I was amazed by how their modesty set them apart from other women, really a tangible difference in their demeanor and how they carried themselves, as women who understood themselves as women - perhaps who understood the power and beauty and sacredness of their female bodies and reflected their understanding through the respectful discretion with which they presented themselves through clothing. Perhaps also as respect for God?

Dressing is more of an adventure for me now, more of a thoughtful process. I love thinking of it in terms of keeping my body mysterious to everyone but my husband. I also really love how, by thinking of my body as something more holy (also holiness= apart, separate) and sacred, it has become to feel more holy and sacred to me; like, the virtues I endow it with, it more fully engenders. And I love how it changes how I interact with people, I am much more comfortable, much less self-conscious, I can focus more on experiencing the ideas and content of human interaction than on the style or presentation or material aspects of our interaction. And I'm enjoying how modesty is influencing other areas of my thought, like ideas about purity (like, physical cleanliness).

I know many of you have understood modesty far earlier than I, so- what does modesty mean to you (and I'm talking about this as a personal, subjective principle (ie, not as a cultural force or how one's modesty is related to another person's righteousness (you know the conversation I am averting))? On a material level, how has it influenced your sartorial choices? And how has it influenced your theories about other aspects of life? Have their been events, changes in your life that have affected how you think about modesty? Do you know where I can find any modest skirts?

"You Didn't Teach Me to Forget You"

You didn't teach me to forget you

Translation by Allison:

I haven't seen you

it's been so long

that the desire I feel

is to look in your eyes

and win your embraces

it's true, I don't lie

In this despair that I see myself

I've already arrived at that point

that I've switched places with you so many times [in my mind]

only to see if I meet [find] you

You really could forgive me

and just one more time accept me

I promise you that now I'll make myself go to where [i.e., become someone that will]

I'll never lose you again

Now that I live life without you

You didn't teach me how to forget you

you only taught me to want you

and wanting you I go about trying to find you

I go about losing myself

seeking in others' embraces your arms

lost in the emptiness of other paths

of the abyss in which you threw me

and shot me and left me here alone

Now that I live life without you

You didn't teach me how to forget you

you only taught me to want you

and wanting you I go about trying to find you

I go about losing myself

seeking in others' embraces your arms

lost in the emptiness of other paths

of the abyss in which you threw me

and shot me and left me here alone

In this despair that I see myself

I've already arrived at the point

that I've switched places with you [in his mind]

so many times only to see if I could find you

You really could forgive me

and just one more time accept me

I promise you that now I'll make myself go to where [i.e., become someone that will]

I'll never lose you again

Now that I live life without you

You didn't teach me how to forget you

you only taught me to want you

and wanting you I go about trying to find you

I go about losing myself

seeking in others' embraces your arms

lost in the emptiness of other paths

of the abyss in which you threw me

and shot me and left me here alone

Now that I live life without you

You didn't teach me how to forget you

you only taught me to want you

and wanting you I go about trying to find you

I go about losing myself

seeking in others' embraces your arms

lost in the emptiness of other paths

of the abyss in which you threw me

and shot me and left me here alone

Now that I live life without you

You didn't teach me how to forget you

you only taught me to want you

and wanting you I go about trying to find myself